Yergin Harbermaster

At school they are clearing out the computer files, so students have to copy what they want to keep from their files and take it home and stuff. Well anyway, I found these stories that I have kept in a folder entitled "Random Kid With Mullet". The reason the folder is called this, is because someone came into the library while I was making it and they had a horrendous mullet and we couldn't work out whether they were a girl or boy. They weren't even a kid...It was like a gardener/repairperson. Anyway, enough about that. Well I found some stories, and I wish to share them with you. Here you go...(BTW, I possibly could have been stoned when I wrote these, or maybe just high on lemon juice)

Reihaag Yakatungtargoobydoolaadimsimteetoo was an ordinary boy, with an extraordinary name. Many people fainted at the sight of his name, his last name particularly. This little quirk of his meant that Reihaag had no friends indeed. Well he had one friend, the only person in Australia who could pronouce Reihaag’s name without certain faintness. Reihaag’s friend’s name was unpronounceable to anyone on earth (and sounded quite like an elephant discussing the weather if it was pronounced), so he was used to strange names. Reihaag and his friend spent many happy hours reading books with no words, only pictures of words, about flies and butterflies. But really, they did not like these books, they only read them for popularity (note: this tactic DID NOT WORK). Anyway, they both went to lunch with smiles on their faces. THE END

And another one....

This is a story. It has a moral meaning and it is an insight into somebody’s life. (quote from my friend's English teacher)

Sarah was a girl. She had more than a million hairs on her head, this was quite an achievement. Her hair was in fact blonde, and it got in the way while she was doing her wood carving. Sometimes she’d carve her hair instead, which made her angry and punch somebody. Sometimes herself. Sarah got sent home from school for violent behaviour during wood carving lessons on a regular basis. Sarah also had blue eyes. Somebody once told her that they looked like sapphires but they were immediately put into a mental institute. Sarah was sick of her blue eyes and blonde hair so she dyed her hair black and got some purple contacts.

But this story isn’t about Sarah, it’s about her duck’s friend’s sister’s owner’s son. Called Brian. Brian was 14 and rather brilliant at soccer. He was the best player of the season for 3 consecutive years. Actually this was not true, but Brian liked to use it as a pick up line. Brian was really awful at soccer and didn’t like it anyway. He preferred cake decorating. He was the only boy in his entire school that took cake decorating as a class. Actually he was the only person in the school that took it. No one was actually sure if this course existed. It seemed like cake decorating existed, as Brian always came out of his “class” with a beautifully decorated cake, but it was suspected that he just made them at home and brought them to school to look cool. This was a very stupid thing to do, and even Brian thought this, but he was so addicted to decorating cakes that he just continued doing it.

Brian’s best friend’s name was The Egg. The Egg was a small boy with brown hair who loved to play on the swings at lunchtime. The Egg was happy all the time and got on with everyone, but he chose to hang out with Brian because he felt sorry for him.

The Egg got his nickname when he was in Year 1. He was new to the class and the teacher was introducing him to the class.

“Tell everyone your name. Go on, they won’t bite.” Said the annoying teacher of little mind power.

“Hello everybody! My name is…”

At this point, The Egg got distracted by two adolescent boys egging the principles car.

“THE EGG!” said The Egg.

The class was thrilled at this new development, as they had never heard such an interesting name. No one knew The Egg’s real name.

Anyway, Brian and The Egg had a wonderful time every lunch, swinging on the swings, sliding on the slides and hanging upside down on the balcony wall (it was never discovered how they did this). Brian was never bullied because he had such a cool friend. He lived for 10 years more before being hit by a bus while standing on his head in the middle of a freeway. THE END.

And finally...

One bleak, dreary morning, a girl called Matthew went for a ride on her tricycle. She rode down her street, past the milkman on his way to work (he was an engineer), past the evil letterbox that ate and swallowed everyone’s letters before regurgitating them and sending them to the person they were sent to, past Mrs Ladylamp, washing her clothes with her cat, and finally stopped at the multicoloured pedestrian crossing lights (which were very changeable and red only meant stop on Tuesdays). Today the lights were pink, meaning that Matthew should stop, do a U-turn and go home. So she did. THE END.

Hope you had fun. Thanks for bearing with this! (that made little sense)

Sonomi